Why's loving sum1 so hard?

Hais... I did somethings i sumhow regretted as it resulted me of "this future"... if i did sumthing about it... i would hav ended up with "another future"... Probably better? I do not know... but nw? i sumhow... hais... So near yet so far... hey... dun peep peep peep argh! listen to story le must give advice/comments lei!... ~_~ omg... evrytym tink bout her my heart melts... =P (cheezy huh?) but really lo... cute! Lovable! Chubby! Zhi ran tian zhen!(Naturally innocent? nt sure how to interpret it...) overall i give her bout 9/10... =X hais... but suan le... sun qi zhi ran(let nature take its course..).. but i also dun want 2 fang qi lei... kinda "buey gian" lose ya noe? so... give me sum advice? help? tips? =/